Lipz Unzipped

Wordless Wednesday

cheryldpeters@gmail.com (Cheryl) — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 04:12:00 +0000

Merry Christmas!! Enjoy our tree... I'll show you 2 pictures of Christmases past too... We had the saddest Charlie Brown tree ever. For 2 years! This year? I went all out and got a 6.5" pre lit tree. I love it. Notice how all the ornaments stop before the end of the tree?? Yeah, Jillian likes to play in there. Also, we have the tree box in front of the tree to act like a baby gate.

Christmas 2007

Christmas 2008

Christmas 2009

4 More Sleeps!!

cheryldpeters@gmail.com (Cheryl) — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 21:15:00 +0000

I can't believe that Christmas is in 4 more sleeps! Lauren is getting so excited. We ended up getting the girls picture taken with Santa. Lauren is usually SO shy. But, thankfully? Not this time! She went right up to Santa and was great. I really can't wait until Christmas morning. Pretty sure it's going to look like Toys R Us threw up all over our small living room.

Jillian's been doing well, finally crawling on 4 point! YIPPEEE!!! I'm so excited for her and every milestone (even small ones) are celebrated appropriately. I really just can't wait until Adam is on vacation. Only 2 more work days. Phew. This week is slow in the area of appointments. I figured that all 3 of us need a break. We have physiotherapy tomorrow afternoon and then that's IT! Until the first full week of January! It will be a very welcome break, that's for sure.

We're leaving for Nova Scotia on the 26th- hopefully the weather is on our side. We're supposed to get a snow storm on the 25th in Toronto. Hopefully it won't delay us much! Can't wait to get to NS and spend time with our family and friends. I need huge hugs from everyone!

Hope everyone has a fabulous holiday season, I'll try to update again before christmas and then during our trip to NS!

Omg The cute.

cheryldpeters@gmail.com (Cheryl) — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 16:11:00 +0000

And THIS is why I keep Lauren around. ;)

I have no right....

cheryldpeters@gmail.com (Cheryl) — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 04:46:00 +0000

I had a pity party today. A good old fashioned pity party. Yesterday, I learned that one of the amazing women I've met in Toronto suffered a stillborn delivery. The baby was 25 weeks gestation. So devastating. Today, I logged onto Momdot, just to see what was happening within my interwebs. There was a death in our group today. One of the admins of Momdot lost her 2 year old son in a drowning accident. Absolutely terrifying.

And me? I had a pity party. (obviously before I found the second piece of bad news) Jillian had an appointment today with the Orthotic clinic. Jillian had her legs casted and we're getting ready to start AFO therapy in January. Then. The therapist asked if Jillian was sitting unassisted. I said no. She said obviously we know how much the body works together. If she's not sitting properly, it's going to throw EVERYTHING out of whack. So, she suggested an assistive sitting device. Sure, I said. She'll get fitted for that on the 29th. I told her that I have a chronic Googling problem and I would probably google some terms that I didn't know. She gave me 2 names of companies that has the assistive sitting devices. I looked them up. One was called Kid Kart. Simple enough, right? THIS is what I was faced with.

A wheel chair. Fabulous. Here I am doing EVERYTHING in my power to keep Jillian OUT of a wheel chair and we're getting fitted for one on the 29th. Apparently just because we're getting a wheel chair doesn't mean we'll be in one for ever. I just hope we can work through this.

I feel ashamed that I was worrying about money and wheelchairs and braces. I don't know how it feels to lose a child. It sucks that it sometimes takes a tragedy to realize how good you've got it. Hug your children closer tonight (or your pregnant belly) and I'll catch you on the flip side. xoxo

The Saga continues...

cheryldpeters@gmail.com (Cheryl) — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 22:12:00 +0000

After calling Adam and crying today, I still feel that I need an outlet. If you haven't already, you're going to want to read THIS post. Go ahead. I'll wait.

Back? Great! Now that you're up to speed about how absolutely ridiculous people are, I had another conversation with this "woman" today. She messaged me and started immediately on the oh woe is me crap. Whatever. Grow up and get a life. Your kid doesn't need a $15,000 hot tub and you shouldn't ask your friends for handouts. But, that's not even the best of it.

As a mother, you've heard me say it before, we compare children. There. I said it. It's hard not to do. Her son was diagnosed with Spastic Diplegia CP, the same CP that Jillian has. Now, I'm THRILLED he's making progress, I really am. Although, he's so much more advanced than Jillian. (Perhaps I should be looking for a $15,000 hot tub?) She was complaining to me today that her doctor isn't helping her. I said well, did you RESEARCH and bring up ideas to bounce off of him? No? Oh. Maybe you should start there. Apparently she doesn't have time to do research? I'm not going to hand over the research I've been doing until 2 and 3 o'clock in the morning. It feels like cheating on a test. Why should I do HER work for her? I'm fighting EVERYTHING for my kid. The system, the government, and other health care professionals.

I'm just beyond frustrated. Great. You have a diagnosis. Congratulations. You don't even have to go to the library anymore to do research. There's this wonderful thing called Google. Have you heard of it? I don't even have to get out of my pajamas to do research. I know you have to be careful of websites that you get your info from, but, accredited websites like The Ontario Federation of Cerebral Palsy or government sponsored sites are good places to start.

There. Rant over. For today.

The first time...

cheryldpeters@gmail.com (Cheryl) — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 04:37:00 +0000

...I got drunk was another of the topics to blog about!! I have to be honest here, I was a goody two-shoes in high school. I didn't even drink until my first year of university was done! I was a month shy of 19 (which is the legal age in Canada to buy/drink liquor)

The first few times I did drink, I didn't get drunk. I don't even remember REALLY getting drunk except for a handful of times. I also admit that I've NEVER gotten so drunk I've thrown up. There's a reason for that. I'm PETRIFIED of vomit. Anyones. Mine? Adam's? Gross. Apparently I feel differently about my kids.

I do remember one time in particular. I was in my third year of university at Acadia. My friend Melissa was visiting from New Glasgow and we decided we were going to drink. I was just starting to "see" Adam, so, he joined us. I decided that we had to go and talk to my friend Jay who lived in another residence at the time. I was going to convince him to come to the bar with us. I was SO drunk. It was ridiculous!! Melissa and I walked up from Seminary house to Dennis house which was uphill. Adam came with us, and it's a good thing he did!!!

Melissa and I were so drunk that we got to Dennis House and started giggling uncontrollably. We started giggling so much that we couldn't stand up straight anymore. We used the wall as a brace and finally fell on our butts! I was bound and determined to go to the bar. Adam kept saying he didn't think it was a good idea. Uh huh. Sure, dude. I'm GOING to the bar!!!

We get to the campus bar and dance for ONE song. And then I declared I was too drunk to keep dancing. And I was too drunk that I couldn't guarantee I wouldn't fall asleep at the bar- big no no! Luckily there was no cover because I would have been angry to lose that money! ;)

Adam took Melissa and I back to res and we fell asleep. And THAT, my friends, is one of my "Drunk" stories!! I have a few more from when I was a Residence Advisor for 3 different residences!

Jillian's labour story

cheryldpeters@gmail.com (Cheryl) — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 02:52:00 +0000

As the icing to our cake- I've often called Jillian that before- here's Jillian's story. On September 7th, 2008, I had visitors! From the outside world! (If you don't remember, I was on hospitalized bedrest after my water broke at 29 weeks. You can read the rest of Jillian's birth story HERE and HERE ) my visitors were wonderful. Even though I was only supposed to have 2 visitors at a time (unless the visitors were my family) I had my friend Bree, Helen (and her son Gareth), and Anna and 3 of her 4 children with her. It was chaotic in my room to say the least!! At that point, I was contracting every 10 minutes, and I really wasn't too concerned. Figured they'd stop.

That night, Jillian's heart rate was up to 190 beats per minute for 25 minutes. She finally settled down and I settled into a very horrible sleep! Everytime I would roll over, I would contract. Hard to stay in one place when you're 30 weeks pregnant!!

The next morning, my doctor came in to do an ultrasound. My cervix was still nice and long and closed. Fast forward 1.5 hours and I paged the nurse. I was contracting every 5 minutes and I had to concentrate through them. My nurse came RUNNING because I never called. She paged the resident and the resident debated on checking me. Since my water had broken, they weren't supposed to check me anymore. They decided that they needed to check me, and boy! Was I glad!!! I was already 3 cms and Jillian's foot was in the birth canal.

I call Adam. I tell him to get his ass to the hospital. He asked if he had time to shower. I said "No. You should have been here 10 minutes ago! Oh. And if I'm gone? I'm in the OR" So, Adam hauled ass to get to the hospital. Meanwhile, another IV was placed and I was put in a wheelchair. By this point, the contractions were one on top of another and I was sitting on only ONE of my butt cheeks. Apparently that's a tell tale sign that you're close to delivery. I couldn't talk to anyone in the hallway. All I was doing is leaning, panting and trying to fight the urge to push. By the time they got my spinal in place 25 minutes later (or less, it really was a blur) I was 6.5 cms dilated. And at the size Jillian was, I could have easily pushed her out, if she hadn't been breech.

For a girl who wasn't supposed to go into labour (I was going to have a scheduled c-section on November 4) I moved quickly and efficiently. If only my body knew that human babies are supposed to bake for 40 weeks. ;)

Change of Pace

cheryldpeters@gmail.com (Cheryl) — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 04:15:00 +0000

Recently on a forum I belong to (MomDot) they passed around a list of potential blog topics, for when you have those "brain fart" moments!! I've decided that I haven't been blogging much and when I do, it seems like all I'm doing is looking for a pity party. So, I decided to look into the list and write some things are interesting to me- and hopefully to you!!

Today's topic I decided on was Labour. I did tell my birth stories, but, this is a little bit different!!!

With Lauren, I started to go into preterm labour on December 24, 2006. I was 34 weeks pregnant. We were "house sitting" for my inlaws, as they were in the Dominican and returning the next day. We were also looking after my sister in law who is bi-polar and had just been released from hospital.

At the time, we were living in Nova Scotia, in our own apartment, with our own things! We also had 2 cats. Since we were staying with my SIL, we needed to bring the cats. My FIL HATES cats, so, we brought them after they had left. On Christmas Eve, we went to Halifax to return the cats to our apartment. I was driving and all of a sudden started getting contractions. On our way back to my ILs, I had to pull over and get Adam to finish driving. I seriously figured that the contractions (that were coming every 7 minutes like clockwork) would just peter out and stop. Finally, I told Adam what was going on and he wanted to turn back to go to Halifax. Where we were was 45 minutes away from Halifax, still thinking it was going to stop, we just continued on. Finally after they hadn't gone away for 2 hours, we went to the hospital to get checked. In the Truro hospital, we were informed that they don't deliver babies at 34 weeks. I had already dialated to a 1 (from being completely closed 2 days before) so, they told me to go to Halifax to see if anything was going to happen. SO, we packed up and went, figuring they would just send me home. On our way, some guy ran a red light and almost hit us. I screamed, it was terrifying! My contractions started coming every 5 minutes then.

Get to labour and delivery. They check me, I'm 3cms. Apparently not going anywhere. They monitored me all night and the contractions seemed to stop. My nurse had said that if the contractions stopped over night, I could go home. GREAT! It was Christmas, after all. The doctor came in the next morning and declared I wasn't going anywhere. Apparently I could have a baby at any moment! What?! No contractions, and we're still thinking a baby is coming?! Right.

I DID end up getting discharged on December 26. And then I was back at the hospital on December 30. I dialated to 4 cms and 80%. Stayed overnight again, but the contractions stopped again. Off and on for the next 3.5 weeks, I would have regular timeable contractions for an hour or so, and then it would stop for an hour or so. FRUSTRATING! Since Lauren was sitting so low in my pelvis, I hurt, I couldn't sleep, I was miserable! We went to the hospital because I just wanted the pain in my hips to stop. They then told me I could be put on the induction list. I was SO excited. Maybe even too excited!! It was a low pressure system and everyone and their dog was having a baby. But me. Thankfully they called the next day and we got set for the induction.

You can read the rest of Lauren's birth story HERE if you're interested!!! I'll continue with Jillian's labour story tomorrow, or Monday. You know how awesome I am at blogging on weekends. ;)

A bit of a dilemma.

cheryldpeters@gmail.com (Cheryl) — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 02:36:00 +0000

If you're a reader of my blog, you know that Jillian has been diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy. Yes, it's a hard diagnosis. I get that. There's someone I met when my friend Anna's son Noel was in the NICU at a different hospital than Jillian. We quickly became friends and have talked over facebook since we live about an hour away from each other. Her kids sometimes have appointments at Sick Kids, which is around the block from my house. So, yes. We'll meet for coffee occasionally.

Her son was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy last week. Yes. I DO know what it feels like to get a diagnosis. I know how it feels to feel ok with it one day and devastated the next. But, I have to say that I don't agree with something she's doing...

She created a group (well, herself and a friend) that is raising money for her son. I understand that therapy and equipment can run into a lot of money. However, that's what private insurance is for AND since we're lucky enough to live in Canada, we get OHIP (provincial health insurance) AND money from the government (for having a child with special needs- not that I always agree with that one, but it will help a lot with all the paraphernalia that goes with CP) She wants to raise $15,000 for a HOT TUB for her son. Now, let's not forget that children under 5 shouldn't be IN a hot tub because they can't regulate their body temperatures properly.

I declined the group on Facebook, because I generally decline all groups on facebook. For days, I wondered if I should just agree to be in the group so she didn't hate me. But, I'm not raising $15,000 for my kid and I'm not asking my friends for handouts either. It just rubbed me the wrong way. I finally declined. Then tonight!? She re-invited me to the group. No.Thank.YOU. I don't agree with it. I had a hard time, and realized that if she doesn't like me because I didn't join her group, I don't need it. I have a lot going on on my own right now. I'm trying to handle it well and with the friends who really matter (you all know who you are) you let me talk, vent, cry, or NOT talk about it. It's really up to me and they're SO supportive. And I appreciate that.

Meanwhile. Can I have $15,000?? :p

I know not many people...

cheryldpeters@gmail.com (Cheryl) — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 04:17:00 +0000

...Read blogs on weekends. I'm trying to be here for my blog readers, so, if you're still hanging around, HI! Thanks for your patience. On the exterior, I'm a tough cookie, but really? Inside? I'm a softy. ESPECIALLY when it comes to my children.

First and foremost- Happy Thanksgiving (to all my American Friends!) I hope you enjoyed a huge meal and lots of desserts. :)

Second- if you haven't already done so, please visit MPH Photography and tell Mani what a great job she does as a photographer. We finally got all of our proofs back and I'm in love with them all. I really shouldn't say finally, since they were ready quite quickly, I was just impatient. ;)

Third- I'm having a hard time. Mentally, emotionally, physically. I think it's all stemming from stress with Jillian's diagnosis. There are some days I want to cry, there are some days I'm her biggest cheerleader (Ok, all days, but, sometimes, it's shadowed by my feelings- although she'd never know that, I'm a good actress if I do say so myself) and there are some days I think "Why our family?" Adding new therapies are keeping me busy. This week alone we had PT (physical therapy) OT (occupational therapy) and EI (early intervention), a class to fill out the mountain of paperwork for assistance (documenting her disability), and Monday? Opthomology. And it doesn't seem to be slowing down. I know that I can do her therapies, so, I've made an executive decision to take a couple weeks off around Christmas so I can enjoy our family.

Fourth- My friend Jenna is having a hard time right now. I'd love if you could just go and give her a comment. A hug, a friendly wave, something. If there were such a thing of sisters that were separated at birth, she's definitely one of them! (There are a few more out there too!)

Fifth and final point- Thank you for having patience with me. I've been told that everything I'm feeling is totally normal. Sometimes I feel like the worlds worst human. I'll try to get better at posting. Fo shiz this time. ;) (Since I live in the big Ghetto of Toronto, thought I'd through in some slang. haha Making jokes makes me feel better. Just enlighten me for a while.)

Lots of love to all of you. xoxo

Wordless Wednesday

cheryldpeters@gmail.com (Cheryl) — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 03:26:00 +0000

In case you didn't click the link in my last post, here are the rest of our pictures taken by our awesome photographer at MPH photography

Lauren decided she was done with the photoshoot...

Our Family

Beautiful Lauren

Beautiful Jillian

Adam and I. I told our beautiful photographer that no one ever wants pictures of us, but she said they're always nice to have. :) And I agree, this one is beautiful!

The rest of the pictures!!

cheryldpeters@gmail.com (Cheryl) — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 04:42:00 +0000

Well... Of the sneak peeks!! Mani (our photographer) told me she took over 500 pictures! CRAZY! She's an editing fool right now, and I'd love it if you could stop by her site and tell her what great work she does!!!

MPH Photography

Wordless Wednesday

cheryldpeters@gmail.com (Cheryl) — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 01:33:00 +0000

Here's my new favourite picture of Lauren, we had a session with a fabulous photographer in Toronto and here's one of the pictures!!! As soon as I get more of Jillian and the rest of our family, I'll share them!

Wiggle Time!!

cheryldpeters@gmail.com (Cheryl) — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 02:41:00 +0000

So, you've seen this adorable little girl on my blog before. This is Lauren, my ALMOST 3 year old (she keeps reminding me that her birthday is coming!) at the recent Wiggles Concert in Toronto, Ontario.

I was recently told about WiggleTime! and I was giving a chance to review the site. Well. I sat down with Lauren, brought out my computer and typed in the address (you're loving all the nitty gritty details, aren't you?) Lauren got SO excited to see the Wiggles. I started to wonder then if a) I was ever going to get Lauren off my laptop again and b) if having an awesome website was a bad thing?!

There were many times that Lauren would BEG to play Wiggles on my laptop, and of course, for the love of everything good (and avoiding temper tantrums!) I obliged! I don't have an external mouse hooked up to my computer, but, Lauren would point to an area on the screen and I would be the nice mommy and make her character go where she wanted to go.

There wasn't much I would change about the website, to be honest with you. When we were trying out the website, it lets you know when you've been playing for 20 minutes and give you a Wiggle break where you could get up and dance (in fact it was encouraged!) Lauren loved that!!! There were a HUGE assortment of videos to watch and Lauren could have seriously sat down all day and played with this site!

I love that it's kid and adult friendly. Easy to navigate and interactive. It seemed like it would appeal to all ages of kids. I know my ALMOST 3 year old loved it! I think she has me talked into getting our own membership, so she can play some more!!

Thank you WiggleTime for giving us the opportunity to see this awesome website!! Lauren loved it and I felt good letting her play in there. No way she could open up different browsers or windows or anything.

(**Although I wasn't paid for this post, I was able to get a username and password to view WiggleTime, and I thank them again for giving Lauren and I this opportunity!**)

H1N1

cheryldpeters@gmail.com (Cheryl) — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 15:44:00 +0000

I know. EVERYONE is talking about H1N1. But, I need to tell a story. I've never been so embarrassed in my whole entire life as I was last Friday night. I met 2 of my friends for drinks at a restaurant/bar. We also met up with another mom that one of my friends knows. For the purpose of this story, let's call her D.

My "Friend", H (I use that "friend" term loosely...) is very opinionated and VERY set her in ways. Fine. I always welcome a healthy debate. In fact, I like RATIONALLY discussing important events. As with a lot of people, the debate came up about H1N1. Poor D. This was the first time meeting H. And I wanted to just disappear under the table and run away.

D has a VERY sick child. In fact, if her child doesn't get a bone marrow transplant, he might very well die within 3 years. It's a complicated situation and even though D's son is on the registry, there is little hope that a perfect match will come up. My heart breaks for D. She had just mentioned that she had the H1N1 vaccine on Friday afternoon. Her son, her daughter and herself got the vaccine.

If you've been reading my blog, you'll know that Jillian is immune-compromised. We, as a family, have decided not to get the vaccine. I've done a lot of research and I just don't feel comfortable, just for OUR family. That doesn't mean that I think less of you if you decide to get the vaccine. H is strongly against the vaccine. Or any vaccines for that matter. Could she just leave it at that when D had said they got the vaccine? Nope. Of course not. What started as a healthy debate, became QUITE heated after a few moments.

Myself, my friend B and D were all saying that we understand H's position. But could H understand where WE were coming from? We're all mothers of immune-compromised children. I support ANYONE that makes decisions for their family. And that's why I felt we needed to stick up for D.

I was so upset that I wanted to cry and run away. I felt so bad for D, meeting us for the first time and getting a tongue lashing because she's trying her hardest to protect her terminally ill son. It's fine to feel passionate about something you feel strongly about. I get that. But when you start putting other parents down? That's not ok with me. H could have dropped the conversation, instead, she was yelling at us over a bar. She hasn't talked to us since the "incident". And you know what? I'm glad. I don't need a toxic relationship in my life. I have enough of that.

Remembrance Day

cheryldpeters@gmail.com (Cheryl) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 13:56:00 +0000

In Flanders Fields
By John McCrae

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly.
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

Both my grandfathers have served in the Canadian military (both in the Air force) My dad is in the navy, my uncle is in the army. My dad and uncle are still on active duty, even at their age of 55 and 53. They are proud to serve for our country and I'm proud of them for doing it.

The above poem was written by a surgeon in the Canadian Military, during WW1. It's one of my favourites and I sang a version of it in high school, it's really moving and definitely explains what it was like to be there in WW1.

So today, please take a moment to remember our solders who have fought for our lives (regardless if you live in Canada or the US) THEY'RE the reason we can enjoy freedom in our countries.

Ever feel isolated??

cheryldpeters@gmail.com (Cheryl) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 04:00:00 +0000

As you may or may not know, Adam and I moved to Toronto 2.5 years ago. Lauren was only 7 months old at the time. And now? Lauren will be 3 next month and we have Jillian who is now a year old.

As much as I've tried to make friends here, I'm not having much luck. We actually don't have any specialists this week (I realize, this week is almost over). I could have been using this time to potty train Lauren. Hasn't happened. Instead, I haven't showered in days (not like me) and throwing pity parties for myself. Today's pity party? I gave Jillian a bath with Lauren. They LOVE bath time together. I usually get in the tub with them, but I decided to try to just hold Jillian in the tub. Jillian's tone is SO high in her legs that she can't even get into a sitting position. I knew she couldn't sit unassisted, but didn't know it was this bad.

I do 2-3 hours of physical therapy exercises a day. And she can't sit up. I know that kids develop at their own pace, but, I feel so bad for her. Although, I felt like the worlds worst human this week. Another mom to a CP child reached out to me. I met her on Monday. Her son is much worse than Jillian. No muscle tone, 14 lbs and 14 months old. He's listed as failure to thrive and CPS is involved. I felt so bad for this family. I came home feeling so bad for this family. And then realized how horrible I was. I have NEVER thought about any kid with any disability as different. This terrified me. I came home, feeling terrible. Adam kindly pointed out that Jillian's diagnosis is SO new and SO raw that I can't take on other peoples problems right now. And you know what? He's right. I've always been one to help someone in need and I really can't this time. I need to take care of myself and MY family.

I miss my family and friends in Nova Scotia. What I need more than anything right now is love and support. Hugs are always good too. I just can't motivate myself. I feel alone, sheltered and miserable. I hate feeling like this. Since I am always so upbeat, this is really dragging me down.

A giveaway!!!

cheryldpeters@gmail.com (Cheryl) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 01:04:00 +0000

Are you excited?!?! Well. Don't be. Yet. Yes, it's true that I'll be hoping to add giveaways to my blog, but today?! You'll get a wonderful opportunity!! I'm giving away my 2 children! Aren't you LUCKY!? Seriously. Who wouldn't love to have 2 gently used children?! Look! I'll show you how cute they are!!

Here's exhibit A- Lauren Danielle (we've recently been corrected by the almost 3 year old that her name is Lauren DANIELLE.)

Here's exhibit B- Jillian Nicole

Exhibit A has recently become someone I don't even recognize anymore... She's demanding, bossy, and already looks at me like I have 8 heads. I thought I had a few more years before THAT happened.

Exhibit B has a lung infection. This is requiring 2 doses of pulmicourt (steroids) via nebulizer and 3 doses of ventolin. But, don't give her the ventolin close to bedtime. Nope! It makes her heart race and she gets all jittery and irritable.

I recently asked Adam what he thought we'd be doing right now if we didn't have children. We'd be well rested and most certainly rich. I mean I'm painting a beautiful picture, aren't I?

Serious inquiries only. Because if someone doesn't take them soon, I might be in a padded cell.

Note to self...

cheryldpeters@gmail.com (Cheryl) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 02:58:00 +0000

...When being a "good" mother, and deciding to take you 2 and 3/4 year old out to the mall, purposely waiting until after a nap, and listening to said 2 and 3/4 year olds complaints that she never gets to walk, ALWAYS TAKE A STROLLER.

Lauren has complained more than once that I never let her walk when we go to a mall. So, being the nice mommy I am, I decided to take her out and let her walk! Without the backup of a stroller. Lauren thought walking was fabulous for about 2.5 minutes. Then she was DEMANDING "UP! UP! UP!" have you ever picked up a wiggling 28 lb sack of flour?! Well, I did today. Over and over. She was not interested in walking anywhere.

Dear Lauren. What happened to the "nice" girl I usually take out in public? I did not like you today. I didn't like how you made people stare at your dear old mother. And perhaps I'm not really old, however, I felt it today. Maybe I'm too out of shape for this job?! Maybe I should have passed a physical before having children.

Makes me want to keep her inside for the rest of the winter. Not to mention we're all still sick with a cold from well, you know. Let's just say it's not heaven. I realized though, what was bothering my lovely daughter. She had heard hubs and I discuss the possibility of taking Jillian to the hospital because her phlegmy sounding cough was terrible. She thought hubs had taken Jillian to the hospital and she wasn't going to be home when we got there. I assured her over and over Jillian was fine, we didn't have to take her anywhere. Yet. Here's hoping it gets better by tomorrow, or we might be making a trip to our friendly pediatrician.

Wordless Wednesday

cheryldpeters@gmail.com (Cheryl) — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 03:31:00 +0000

Hi Everyone!! Here's another installment of WW. Here's a picture that was taken this weekend, I took Lauren to see the Wiggles! She was so excited!!! This is one of my new favourite pictures. :) We try to spend some 1 on 1 time with Lauren every weekend.

Short Entry tonight...

cheryldpeters@gmail.com (Cheryl) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 05:13:00 +0000

Well, we now have a diagnosis of Cerebral Palsy. It's hitting me much more hard than I thought it would. I kinda KNEW it was coming, but, was happy living in my own little world for a while! I KNOW that we'll be ok, but, I just worry since this diagnosis will stick with her for the rest of her life. We won't know how severe it is for another year or so. That's the hard part. Oh? And another thing? She can regress. Yep. Totally awesome. I love Jillian and of course Lauren. And I just want to do what's best for both of them. We have to add a BUNCH of services to Jillian's team and now I really don't know when I'm going to have time to wash my hair! ;) I already do about 2-3 hours (broken up) of physical therapy with her a day. Now, we're adding Speech language pathology (for 10 minutes a day) when she was we were going to have to add more time, I panicked. I was worried I wouldn't have any time to pee anymore! I'm ready to fight this head on. so yes, I will have my days of woe is me, or poor Jillian, and I think it's totally normal. Please just bear with me until I get my bearings.

On a completely different note, I'm taking Lauren to see the Wiggles on Saturday. I think she's going to LOVE it! I've kept it a secret from her for a WHILE! Lauren and I always do something together on the weekends, and this is just something a little extra!

Things people told me...

cheryldpeters@gmail.com (Cheryl) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 02:18:00 +0000

...Before I had children continues!!

Welcome to the infant guide of having a baby. This is going to be an exciting time in your life, that's for sure.

- Don't be surprised if you don't sleep the first night after the baby is born. Lauren was born at 11:01 pm and Jillian was born at 11:45 am, and I didn't sleep the first night EITHER time!! I was hopped up on adrenaline!

- If you're going to breast feed, there is nothing to prepare your nipples for little vacuum cleaners that is your childs mouth. It hurts. It's not easy, but it is one of the most rewarding things you can provide your child with!

- ACCEPT HELP. When Lauren was first born, my mother in law offered to come stay with us for a few days. I was really really worried that it was going to cause more work for me, and that I'd have to entertain her, but that wasn't the case. She did all our laundry, cooked for us, cleaned for us, if Lauren was awake and we needed a nap, she'd sit and hold her.

- Make some meals ahead if you can. Store them in your freezer so you don't have to worry about making supper or ordering take out every.single.day. for a while.

- DEFINITELY sleep when the baby sleeps!!! You're exhausted, walking around like a zombie, trying to even get a shower everyday is daunting. Take a nap. Or a walk. Or read a book. ;)

- Buy one of those car seat sleeping bags. They're ideal! Baby doesn't need a winter jacket or blanket, or even hat most of the time. These are awesome!!

- Try to make time for yourself. Even if it's just sitting in the bath tub reading a book. MAKE TIME FOR YOU!

- You'll have ups and downs. Somedays you'll cry and somedays you won't, but just be on the lookout for PPD (Post Partum Depression)

I hope you enjoyed today's installment!! Stay Tuned!

Where have I been?

cheryldpeters@gmail.com (Cheryl) — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 00:45:00 +0000

I know. I haven't updated again. I've been coming to terms with a lot lately. We got Jillian's MRI results back last week. She had a head ultrasound in November (of '08) and it showed a PVL she had another head ultrasound done in February. We learned the PVL was GONE!! We were so excited. Her doctor ordered an MRI recently to see how everything was going. Unfortunately, the PVL that was there in November was actually still there, it didn't go anywhere, in fact, it got bigger. Jillian has now been diagnosed with CPVL basically, when PVLs disappear they cause cysts of dead space. Fabulous. Oh and treatment? There is none.

Now we're definitely looking at a cerebral palsy diagnosis, however, we have no idea the severity for many months to a year. This leaves me hoping that I'm doing everything in my power for her, without compromising my relationship with Lauren.

Oh and to make matters better?? SOMEONE accused me of making Jillian's medical stuff up for attention. Yep! Because I have nothing else better to do than spend hours doing physical therapy, running her to various appointments, etc. I think that hurt more than anything.

Stay tuned tomorrow for another update on Things people told me. ;) I hope this update reaches everyone happy and healthy. xoxo

Things people told me...

cheryldpeters@gmail.com (Cheryl) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 03:32:00 +0000

...Before I had children!

I had a wonderful phone date with someone I think of very highly!! Sadly, we live miles a part and we don't get to chat on the phone very often. We're DEFINITELY going to keep in touch better and aim to see each other at Christmas since we'll both be in the same province! Well, she told me some exciting news tonight- that she's going to have a baby! It's so funny. Once you become someones "MOM", you suddenly feel the urge to tell all there is to know about your experiences. Gah. Why?! I've read it on many blogs before, parents give soon-to-be parents advice. I hope I didn't do too much of that! So, I hereby bring you my list of things people should tell you before they have children!

- It only takes one time. When we decided to "try" for Lauren, we ended up pregnant after a weekend (And I can pinpoint it because Adam was working out of Atlanta and I was home by myself) we met in Toronto for a friends wedding, and the rest, my friends is history. Or Lauren. Whatever you want to call it. ;)

- You are OH so tired. NOTHING you do makes it any better. I noticed with Jillian's pregnancy I wasn't half as tired as I was with Lauren! Maybe my body was used to it? Maybe Lauren didn't want to slow down.

- Lets talk about boobs. You know, those 2 things on your chest that SOME men like to gawk at. My breasts were SO tender that I warned Adam even LOOKING at them would make them self destruct, so please. Just don't bother touching.

- Constipation. Let's face it. Shit happens. Or doesn't happen. And it's SO unbelievably frustrating!

- Those people who tell you to save up on sleep? Yeah, they're all full of shit. Yeah, it's a great THEORY, but nothing will prepare you for the zombie like state that you'll become shortly after the baby is born. (I know with me, I couldn't even sleep the first night either of the girls were born... I was too excited. It was almost like Christmas!)

- The birth plan you patiently filled out will sometimes render itself useless. Sometimes babies don't follow your plan. They're bastards all the time. ;)

- Sometimes you'll poop on the table while you're pushing. This is an instant to look at point 4. Sometimes shit happens. Not saying that I did that or anything. Ahem. The nurses are all really great about it though.

- "Enjoy the baby years because they grow up so fast" I actually agree with this statement.

Have any PREGNANCY parenting tips to pass along!? Feel free to add them to my comments. I'm going to do more posts like this, so keep on the lookout! I've decided maybe I should write a book. "Do as I say, not as I do". I've made some stellar mistakes as a mother. Hopefully Lauren's therapy won't cost us too much, since she's our test subject. ;)

Wahoo!

cheryldpeters@gmail.com (Cheryl) — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 21:57:00 +0000

I recently got to be a part of a blogger survey that one of the girls from momdot was putting together. I would love for you to meet Brittany from The Greer Five. Here's her post where she meets/introduces ME! I asked Brittany to fill out the same questions so we can get to know her too!

Question 1:

Why in the world do you blog? And what is your favorite thing about it?

Well I started out blogging for the whole family thing. But then I just kept going and learning. But basically I blog because I like to write. I'm actually going back to school to hone my writing skills and become professional with it. My favorite thing about it - is all the great people I have met and am meeting. It's become such an amazing way to just connect with others.

Question 2:

What is your favorite color, food and number?

Color: White. Yeah I know not really a color, but the non color, color I prefer! Food: I would say Mexican anything but really I like anything spicy, spicy spicy. Jalapenos and I are best friends. But Cajun and Southern Food definitely take the cake. Number: 2

Question 3:

What kind of music do you listen to?

I listen to EVERYTHING! From classical to gangsta rap. It all depends on my mood really.

Question 4:

Do you have a personal statement or motto that you live by?

Be present. Basically - be in the moment. Experience everyone and everything around you. Take it in and don't forget it.

Question 5:

If you could live anywhere - where would it be?

In a house preferably. But hmmm... in the south. With green grass, tall trees, rolling hills, a small slow paced town, with humidity, cool breezes, lightning bugs and fresh air.

Question 6:

If you could be from the past - which part of the past would you chose?

Oh man the past (history) is one of my favorite things in the world. I'd love to have lived during about AD 180. Really anytime during the extremely ancient Greek times. (you know when those philosophers were around LOL) Or oddly enough during the American Civil War & Reconstruction. Ooohhh or the 30's.

Question 7:

If you had a million dollars were told you had to live on a beautiful island with a beautiful house with only one person in the world - who would you pick?

Well, like you, I would pick my husband. But then my kids would be without parents. And I'm not going to just pick one kid. That's not cool. I'd have to say...I'd want someone I can talk to. Someone that could help me fix things. Someone that could entertain me, etc. Hmmm....Derek Jeter. Yep. Going with him. We can even play a little catch too. Woot!

Question 8:

Which networking site do you despise the most?

MySpace. Hate it. I keep for the stuff I do with the band I work for. But I hate it. It's annoying.

Question 9:

Tell us one random thing you are thinking right now.

My ear itches and I hate it. I want to stick a Q-Tip in it NOW and make it stop itching. Does it mean something if my ear itches?

Question 10:

Last but not least - what is your favorite feature on yourself?

Hmm...I'd say my booty. While a little bit larger (think J-LO) than average it's still pretty firm and up! LOL

Be sure to check her out on Twitter too!